Tuesday, August 03, 2010

I am not my body.

I'm 36. I've never considered myself attractive, but I think it's safe to say that I'm physically less attractive now than I was in days past. This doesn't bother me as much as it used to because I think I've finally come to believe that I'm not my body. It's just something I wear under my clothes. It's true that this is the only body I have to wear, so it's important for me to take care of it, but I don't have to let my self image rise and fall with what I actually look like.

I used to think I was not my body, and I thought it was a real inconvenience to have to feed it, rest it, and otherwise maintain it. Back then, I was living in my head a lot, and I didn't see the value my body brought me. Today I'm a little more awake to things my body tries to tell me and more appreciative of its point of view. It's worth the trouble to keep it.

I think it's important to stay healthy enough to comfortably lead the life I want, but not much more than that. I'm not an athlete or a model, so keeping my body in tip top shape would be like having the hottest car on the block. I could take it as a point of pride, but it doesn't gain me anything in practical terms.

The difference between my body and a car, though, is that my body is bound to go downhill regardless of which way I go. I can take pride in my body today, but that will fade in time. Making peace with my body lets me have the peace I make.

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